Reznjun

back down in my motherland again for a few days.  i came back to visit my family here. mary and i have a room in downtown oklahoma city. i went walking along the canal in bricktown yesterday. that is a nice scenic walk. i also went to the murray building that was bombed years back. i was walking down the street and they had directions to the site so i went. gotta remember the innocent people there that did nothing wrong to merit what happened to them.

i have  hit the pavement the last day or two. it kinda reminded me of my days when i was on the street. i used to walk everywhere. i would cover miles in a day. i would just go prowling around whatever city i was in at the time. when i went on the government relocation program i went to oakland california. i had just gotten of the bus and was walking into the station. some street hustler came up to me and opened his coat. it had a collection of watches. he asked me if i wanted a new watch. i told him ‘give me a break man, this is my first day in town.’ he kinda chuckled and said yeah and moved on. i walked around that town alot. i also used to go to berkley. or as the natives called it ‘beserkley’. they would gather in the commons area of the campus and play drums. i used to like to listen to them.

after i covered the oakland area i went across the bay to san fran. that was a crazy town. they had so many different types there that no one was different. everyone wanted to have a different number, so after awhile they all looked the same. its kinda like that everywhere. the more that people try to be original they more they are just like everyone else.

i have been busy here from the time i get up til i go to bed. i ate dinner last night with my kin at a local gaming parlor. we sat around and laughed while we ate. it is always fun to see them. we checked out the slots after we ate. the gaming gods smiled down on me. i am still up some bucks for the trip. tonite we have tickets to see the thunder play new orleans. i have only been to one other pro basketball game. that was 20 years ago. it was in denver. i dont even remember who they played. out in the sticks in kansas the only pro players we see are the ones that play at k u. oklahoma has nick collison playing for them. and new orlean has ju ju. it will be nice to see these former jayhawks play again. okc also has durant playing. hes one of the best players around now.

i will head over to visit another cousin i havent seen for awhile. he called me last night so i told him i would drive over to see him. i know so many people down here that i wont have a chance to see all of them. and they have a casino in every little stop along the way. i was going to go check out a museum but time hasnt allowed me to do that. never enough time in a day when you got so much to do. gotta head out.

this is the time of year i have been anxiously been waiting for. first we have the big 12 tournament then the ncaa tourney. anything less than a national championship for the jayhawks will be a letdown. we have the best team in the country. just have to show all the doubters in the land now.

last night was a prime example. the hawks who are ranked number 2 played k state who were ranked number 5 in the whole country. k u was ranked number 1 for most of the season. k state is one of the hottest teams right now. the game wasnt nationally televised. probably a good thing too. if it had been, we would have missed the first 10 minutes of the game watching some no name teams from the east play a meaningless game. then the announcers would give the wrong name for players and brag up how good the other team is. then do a complete reversal in the last few minutes of the game saying how good k u is.

k u won the game as i predicted. i texted my sons before the game and said they would win by 15. i thought they were due for a big game. they owed us one for letting the okie state game slip away. the jayhawks always play up to their competition. they should get the number one overall seed in the ncaa tourney now. wont matter. i will put them down on my bracket to go all the way. my friends and family always fill out tourney brackets. we toss in a few bucks and pay the winner. i dont care about the pool. just want a national championship.

i walked two miles yesterday. as i was walking i heard geese. or as my mom would say ‘gi no twak peshkushiyuk’. i looked up and seen geese spread out across the sky. i kept hearing them. i watched them for awhile. that was the largest bunch i have seen in years. they were heading north. spring must be getting close. as i watched them i wondered what the word for a bunch of them was. i remembered a ‘gaggle’. so then what is a bunch of gaggles. maybe a google of gaggles. probably not.

speaking of google. our state capital is renaming itself google for the month. even the television stations are listing that as the name. this is in an attempt to lure the company here to install high speed internet. so now when injuns head to town they will say ‘i’m going to google’. or will it be ‘going googling’. who knows. the internet company our tribe is doing business with never did call me back. the deal was in exchange for them installing their equipment on our tower they were to provide service to our tribal members. i went with my cable service since they didnt want my business.

i am finishing up another roach. just have some outside trim to tie. pow wow season must be coming up. i am getting alot of hits on my site asking for roaches. so i got to churn them out. i still have some hides to make into hand drums. always busy…

well the k u basketball team got beat and the sun did come up again. life does go on, no matter what. it probably was better to lose to okie state than to lose either of the last two games coming up. our team has to beat k state and missouri.

i took advantage of the warmer weather to log some miles walking. i walked 3 times last week. i have found that you have to exercise when you have the opportunity, whether you feel like it or not. spring is getting here. i am always busy with my garden when spring comes. it is so close that i am looking at seed catalogs. i will start some of the seeds i saved from last years garden, especially  the heirloom seed.

i didnt tune in the olympics until yesterday. i was sorting porky hair and needed something to watch in the background. they had cross country skiing. it lasted for two hours. i watched it even though i am not that much into winter sports. i did switch the channel when hockey came on. my brother larry used to watch hockey. i told him all they do is skate around for awhile then punch someone in the face. i missed what they called the game of the century or something. didnt matter. my kids were home for the weekend so i spent time visiting with them.

 i watched the olympic highlights later just to see what i missed. i noticed they had indians dancing once. then at the closing they introduced some more indians. they were the host tribes of the land where the olympics were held. that was a nice touch i thought. i like to see indians.

my woodpile is dwindling down. winter is almost over now. i like to keep a fire going. i prefer the heat of a wood fire to that of a gas furnace. keeping a fire reminds me of my younger days. we had to used a wood stove to cook on. and we used a pot bellied stove for heat. with modern conveniences today we dont really need to use woodstoves anymore. i just like them.

dont know what this new month will bring. well it is per cap month. thats always a treat. and denver pow wow is this month. i am planning to go to that. i am not a die hard pow wow fan. i go for one day then check out the big flea market they have. pow wow is just the excuse i use for a road trip. i may head into the hills to see the casinos. i also have to go find a hot spring to soak in. i get alot done in the short pow wow weekend. with all the snow we had it has been a long winter…..

i went to the prairie band casino’s 12th annual awards dinner the other night. it was held at the capitol plaza hotel in topeka. my sons william and mishan have worked as interns at the casino during the summer and school year. that has really helped them with school expenses.

when we arrived they gave us tickets for free cocktails. i said i didnt drink so i gave my tickets away. before the awards ceremony we had a great dinner. it was chicken and steak. i had shrimp as an appetizer. the service was real good. i had coffee after dinner.

the awards part of the dinner made me feel good. out of 4 categories, prairie band members won 3 of them. our tribal members were employee, manager and supervisor of the year. quite a feat i think. they were given an award and 2500 cash in appreciation.  i firmly believe that our members should be in key management positions and not just be token indians. i think we are getting there. i didnt think it wasnt really like that under a management contract. tribal members that have been in the internship program have advanced because of the program. my sons were given pendleton jackets in appreciation for their work as interns. other interns were given pendleton blankets.

as i was leaving i shook hands with the casinos general manager. i told him i enjoyed the evening. i said we had the best casino in the state. he replied we always will. i liked that. we do have a professionally ran business. i play there occasionally. i dont win that often but i enjoy the atmosphere. it is entertainment. winning is an added bonus.

i am ready for the k u basketball game. a win will give us the league outright. we already clinched at least a tie. this is the part of the season i have waited all year for. i still think we will win the national championship. no matter what the idiot tv announcers think. k u has the best coach, the best team and the best fans.

k state and missouri also play today. being a true k u fan i dont like either team. the good thing about them playing is that one of them will lose. the bad thing is they both cant. rock chalk.

i took these pictures of sculptures outside a casino near the state line on my last road trip. the sun was just going down as i was getting there. i thought they would make a great silhouette since they were back lit. got a good picture and won a few bucks there. normally i dont care for yard art but these looked good on the hillside behind the casino. i noticed them as soon as i drove up.

we didnt get the snowfall the weather guy predicted. yesterday i noticed on tv that many churches were cancelling their services. we had our ceremony on the rez though. a good crowd turned out. everyone braved the cold and snow. it didnt seem to bother anyone. everyone made it there and home safe.

i had an appointment at the clinic this morning. had to do lab work. i go as a precaution. i get checked out regularly. i have known too many indians that dont like to go to the doctor. they let things go sometimes too long. i wondered how they would have been if they caught their problems early. i was glad the clinic was open since alot of places are closed today. i had my blood drawn and i refilled one of my meds while there.

i went to a garden show in topeka this past weekend. i havent been to it even though it has been held every year. i wanted to see what they had. i bought a couple of bare root raspberry bushes and a gooseberry bush. i have a mixture of tame and wild gooseberry bushes growing in my treeline on the north side of my house. i like both varieties. the tame ones are bigger but i like the taste  of the wild ones. together they make a great pie. the lady at the stand told me to put the bushes in the refrigerator until about april or so. i guess to keep them dormant. then i transplant them where i want them. i also picked up alot of free wild flower seeds that various stands were giving away. i picked a few packs of seeds for early garden crops. with all the snow we have had this winter i think gardening will be good this year.

the buffalo hides i was given a few days ago have frozen because of the cold. that is okay with me. now i can get to them when i get a chance. they wont turn on me. i am finishing up another roach head dress. i have to keep churning them out while it is still winter. i get real busy during spring. my big garden keeps me outside. that is almost a full time job but well worth it because of the chemical free food i get out of it.

the jayhawks are on the tube again tonight. will certainly watch that game. seems they are just starting to peak at the right time. will continue to follow them all the way this year. gotta get busy before the game….

i missed mardi gras again this year so i am jamming out to some cajun tunes. it used to be a big thing with me to be able to go to new orlean to see the big celebration. i finally made it down there one year. that was when i was still in my alky days. it was just one big party. you really dont have to go anywhere for that. after i had been down there it wasnt such a big deal. i followed the parades and collected alot of cheap beads. i coulda bought manhattan with them.

i guess mardi gras kinda started out as some kind of religious thing. during lent people would give up something.  so on fat tuesday, they would fill up on the things they would do without during the 40 days leading up to easter. after a few years it just became a reason to party. i remember back when i went to a parochial boarding school. we were forced to observe all the religious holidays. so during lent we had to give something up as a sacrifice. we were just poor indian kids. we didnt have money to buy anything anyway. so we would write down things like giving up pop and candy on the slips of paper we had to turn in to the nuns. it was kinda easy to follow that.

the other day i went to get a newspaper since there was no mail because of a holiday. i put my 75 cents in the machine to get a paper. i noticed a sign on the machine that admonished me to take only one paper. it said i was being watched. so i looked around to see who was watching me. i didnt notice anyone. it must be cause some rip off papers or something. so they use a guilt trip to keep people in line.

i was waiting to watch ku on tv the other night. they had a game that went into overtime. so they stayed with the game. i couldnt care less about the teams from back east. they kept the game on the one being played. so i missed part of the ku game. that happens alot. i dont know why they cant switch to the ku game for this area. everyone here wants to watch the game of local interest. the announcers always bad mouth ku anyway. they think the good teams come from back east. wait til march and april. ku will show them who the best team is.

yesterday someone brought me two fresh buffalo hides. at first i didnt want to mess with them. but i know how hard it is to get buffalo hides so i took them. i just bought two hand drum frames and have a 49 drum frame that belongs to my nephew. so i will get to those hides when i can. i am still making roaches. working on the hides will give me something different to work on. it is hard work to do especially since it is still cold. i have sorted hair all winter long. i now have enough hair sorted to make over 10 roaches to go with the 5 i already finished. i have 4 hand drums done.now i will have roaches and hand drums ready when pow wow season gets here. i probably will have a stand somewhere.

i thought my hearing was going bad after i came back from oklahoma. i played so many slots during that trip i could still hear the ringing. there is nothing wrong with my hearing. gotta stay out of the sinos. and get busy with my artwork.

mary had training in shawnee oklahoma last week so i went along for the ride. i havent seen some of my family down there for a while. i got more kin than a hillbilly. and i have friends all over the country. i wanted to visit with them while mary had training.

on the way down we stopped in coffeyville to see my nephew zach. he is enrolled there to play football. we took him out to eat at the steak house buffet. after he tore his acl in the state wrestling tournament the school he originally signed with withdrew their scholarship offer. their loss i think. he has his weight back up to 305. his knee is holding up during weight training. he said he is enjoying school. i plan to go watch one of his games next fall. everytime i see him i cant help but think of my brother mikey.

near tulsa i seen a gas station that had gas for 2.27 a gallon. you dont see prices like that around here. i think its because oklahoma invented oil or something. our indian stations charge as much as everyone else. so its not really a savings to buy from them. the state told them they couldnt under sell other stations. so in the name of sovereignty the tribes agreed.

soon as we crossed the stateline we started to hit the indian casinos. they are everywhere. when you sign up for a new players card they give you free play. it was anywhere from 10  to 20 bucks. coffee and pop is free. some have free ice cream. i won here and there.  we would just take the winnings and lose it at the next casino down the road. i played my cherokee winnings i had at sac n fox. then my sac n fox money at kickapoos. etc. i thought the machines down there were looser than the ones here in our state. i played for hours on some machines. they have to do something to lure customers in. they have more promotions. like 5 bucks free play on guys night. or ladies night. the same for senior night. it ended up that we played at 12 casinos. we hit a few of them several times. i broke even for the trip.  i now have more players cards from oklahoma to add to my collection. i dont have cards from some of the casinos around the country that i have visited. i just started saving them the past few years. i have 43 of them now.

i didnt think i was gambling too much til i seen a guy near the freeway. he had a sign that said ‘please help’. out of work etc. i thought i could help that poor fellow or go double my money at the casino.  gambling won out. my cousin said they see those guys all the time. then they see them later playing at the casino. so then i didnt feel bad bout being a heartless gambler.

i am realistic enough to know i will never get rich gambling. i play for the hell of it. if k u basketball is my second religion then slot machines are my third. it is fun if i break even or even play for a  while. its entertainment. at one casino a little old indian lady sat next to me. she was probably in her seventies. a grandmotherly type. we started talking and telling jokes. we were laughing and i hit 40 bucks. we were still laughing and she hit about the same. i said i would cash out. she said ‘no play some more’. so i did. she just wanted the company. me and that old lady became friends. if you can make an old person laugh you have done something.

i think someone ought to lobby to make slot play an olympic event. it takes stamina, concentration and training to play the slots. and some speed to beat those little old ladies to a good machine. you also need endurance to stay up late at night. i believe that my index finger got calloused over from hitting that little button on the slot machine.

i got to visit with my cousins alot. we went out and ate several times. we hit the casinos together. seems we spent most of the time laughing and having fun. it sure was a good visit. thats why i went along, to see them. the gambling was just icing. i took a few pictures. probably dont need them to remember the times we had together.

we visited the citizen band museum. they have some nice facilities. i talked to a guy there about researching some of my family that comes from there.  then we went to the absentee shawnee senior center to have an indian taco. they were raising money for something. i ate with with my cousins.

we left at nine in the morning to head for home.  on the way we went thru pawnee. i had to have a picture of the indian hospital where i was born. they had a new casino near there too. we hit a few more near the state line and filled up. we headed toward the turnpike for a straight shot home. we listened to the k u basketball game on the radio. that made time go by quicker. we finally got home around 11 last night. so it only took us 14 hours to make a 5 hour drive. we were tired when we got home. it is nice to get away but nicer to be home. now back to the routine.

today is the birthday of my two older brothers gary and larry. we had a lifetime together. we grew up on the rez when it was a poor place to live. we didnt have running water, electricity, computers or cell phones. that was b.c. ( before casinos). we didnt know we were poor. we had a rich life. we spent our early years with each other. we got sent off to boarding school where we were put thru a brain washing process. it didnt work with us. we were still renegade indians. we went to high school together and played sports. football was our favortie sport but we played them all. we used to play baseball in a hayfield with hub caps as the bases. sports were fun. they allowed us to be on the same team. we pushed each other to be better.

after and during high school, life took us on separate paths. larry went to viet nam. we used to play cowboys and indians as kids. war wasnt a game. gary stayed near home. larry and i went where ever the road took us. i did the military thing a while, went to job corps. larry and i went on the government relocation thing. that was a program to take the indian off the rez. thing is it couldnt take the rez out of us. we always got back together over the years. we worked together on many jobs. friends come and go but a brother is forever. we always knew where the others were at. even when larry was in viet nam we knew where he was stationed. he got wounded there but didnt tell anyone until later to save us the grief.

we lost larry a few years back. during the funeral i was pushed to the back. didnt really matter. we had been thru so much together. i dont think the others knew larry as well as gary and i did. we could finish each others sentences. we were alike on alot of things. we were all writers of sorts. we wrote differently. gary did a book on history. larry did part of his life in a book, and had a blog. i did the blog trip for awhile too. i slacked off because i got too much hate mail. some people just cant handle someone else having an opinion that didnt jive with theirs. i am still working on my book. i have to join my brothers in being published.

we all got married and had kids. but we still looked at one another as family. i miss larry alot. we would chat on the computer several times a day. whenever an event happened we would compare notes on our take of it. gary and i do alot of ceremonies together. our mother taught us part of her beautiful language. we use it to help people. we do it because not many people want to mess with that part of our life.

even though larry aint with us physically anymore he is still our brother. we never forget him. happy birthday brothers. we will play ball together again in the land where our people go.

winter brought us more snow. dont know how much but more than what the weather guy predicted, but not enough to be a problem. the roads are passable. more snow is expected. we should have plenty of moisture in the ground when it is time to start gardens again. that aint that far off. i am already looking forward to that. i am looking at seed catalogs. i saved my own but am wanting to add some heirloom plants to my garden.

k u basketball on again today. cant top last week when we beat missouri and k state in the same week. the only thing better than that is to win the national championship. i will be watching the game as i usually do. i havent kept up with pro football but will watch the superbowl tomorrow. i dont have a favorite team since being disappointed by the chiefs so many years. i do like that song ‘when the saints go marching in’. and i liked the city of new orleans the few times i passed thru there. but the colts will be tough. i want to watch the commercials. i dont care for the aging stars they bring in for the halftime show. will spend that time eating i guess.

i am finishing up a multi-colored green roach. it looks good even though it is not shaped yet. i still have the outside row of deer tail trim on the outside to do. i was working on it when i got a call from a lady that bought a roach from me previously. she said she had a son that needed one to match his red and black outfit. i told her i had one already done. she came by to look at it, then wrote me a check. that made my day. now i got some cino cash for my road trip. oklahoma is full of indian casinos. my index finger will get quite a workout pushing that little button.

i like the use of words. seen where our state lawmakers lost 17 milion dollars. they “accidently spent ” it when it was “inadvertently funneled” into an appropriation bill. how do you accidently spend 17 million? thats why our country is in the trouble we are in. i seen another article where a movie actresses’ death by misuse of drugs was ”accidental”. when poor people die from the same thing it is cause for reform. and an actor while drunk broke into a bank armed with a gun and it was a “mistake”. poor people do time for the same thing. we can use words to twist the meaning of anything. a guy i worked with said his wife was kinda pretty. another guy replied pretty damn ugly. guys working together say anything to pass the time.

gotta get busy finishing that roach before gametime….

heres a picture of my niece kek who danced at dewey last month. i wanted to post some video on my facebook but my computer wont recognize my camcorder. thats happened before, i will fix it whenever.

been busy sorting porky hair for the past few weeks. i have 3 roaches done and about to finish my fourth one this week. i am getting a bunch of them together for a stand sometime. maybe the gathering and a big pow wow. i get inquiries all the time about 24 inch roaches with a double row of 10 inch hair in front. i really dont do that. i am saving my long hair. i have one to do with viet nam colors and i will use lots of my long hair for a roach for myself. people dont realize it is hard to get enough long hair to make big roaches. it takes at least a pound or two of hair. the ones you see at pow wows are what roachmakers do for themselves or their relatives. so far i have sorted enough hair for about 10 roaches. i have also dyed alot of deer tails for the trim. seems people like alot of color in their roaches.

i ordered two hand drum frames from some place in wyoming. i have ordered from them before, i like their frames. i still have two deer hides that i have to get to when the weather permits. they are froze right now. then i still have an elk hide i have to do. i will put part of it on a 49 drum frame that belongs to my nephew. then will use the rest for hand drums. a friend of mine was gonna help me make some frames from hickory but we havent gotten to it yet. i will need to cut a hickory for some ball sticks before the sap runs. still time for that.

i have a otter hide that i have to get to also. i will make me a fur turban with that. i am finishing an outfit to dance in. i really dont get into the competition thing. i just dance for the hell of it. i think  one should dance for fun. sometimes at pow wows it looks like some are bored. it shouldnt be like that. dance is meant to be fun.

weather man says we will get more snow. some of what we had didnt all melt. the big piles have shrunk in the ditches. i have enough wood to last me a while. i cant say enough for the tribal workers that supply the seniors with wood. i just cant do that myself any more. my arthritis makes me pay for any physical stuff i do. i have enough pills to make a pillhead envious. the doc put me on a new one the last time i went in for a check up. this one is for high cholesterol. it shouldnt be a problem if i take care of it.

i got in a few walks after the weather warmed up some. i have logged 14 miles so far this year. gotta do it for my health. if i dont walk then my back really bothers me. if i do then it doesnt act up as often. i dont feel old but it is hell aging. the mind never ages.the body slows down. even making roaches causes my back to stiffen up. i have muscle relaxants that fix me up. the work aint physical, just monotonous. doing the same thing over and over.

got another road trip coming up. heading south again. my wife has business. i am just going along for the ride and to visit people i know there. its a good thing my boys work weekends. they can watch the old home place. i am up for some road time.