Reznjun

many of us will reach a point where turning the page on a calendar becomes an insignificant event. i probably have more years behind me than i have ahead of me. i am thankful that i can look back. and forward. the calendar year is over. a new year awaits us.

i had dinner with some friends of mine at our casino recently. one lady asked me what i thought the new year will bring. without missing a beat i answered ‘’some celebrity will have an affair, a few other celebrities will have problems with alcohol or drugs, a world leader will die, we will have flooding and fires, wars will continue in the world.”  i dont have a crystal ball. i said those are the same headlines we had last year and the year before. so the same things will probably continue to happen. another friend said i must have been waiting a long time with that answer. i said not really, you just see the same things over and over. we dont always learn from history.

i dont know what the coming year will bring. sometimes i  have a cynical attitude, other times i am an incurable optimist. certainly we will have good times as well as bad times. that is part of life. one can hope for the best though. i wish men could lay down arms and live in peace. that we could live without hate and jealousy. and no one would go hungry while others have too much. i dont know how likely that is though. we will live through whatever the new year brings.

i have seen a few television shows that show the best of and worst of for the past year. i dont know how they arrive at some of these things as being the most important events that happened in the past year. some of them are so trivial when thinking of larger events in life.

there are a few things i would like to see this year. i hope that the kansas university jayhawks win the national championship in basketball this year. that is an achievable goal. anything less will be a disappointment. life will go on though if they dont. i know the next jayhawk  team will have the same expectations.

i hope i have a good garden again this coming year. i never know. gardening is so simple. you put seed in the ground and walk away. then you come back later and pick fresh vegetables. there are so many variables in between. is the ground right. do we have enough rain. is there enough sunshine. will the rabbits leave my cantaloupes alone. one never knows. it is always worth the gamble though. we will can more this coming year. the ice storm the other year taught us that.

i will replace the female red heeler i lost. i want a mate for my dog ko nu gish. he is such a good friend. when i lost that little pup for some reason i thought of an absurd joke. an indian lost his dog so he said ”dog gone”. i dont know why that thought came to me. i guess to remind me to take things as they come.

at any rate this year brings with it promise. happy new year to all.

it may not be but our tribal buffalo have to be out there anyway. i had to stop and get a picture of them. i was on my way to nation station to get a newspaper. road and bridge workers are out clearing the roads. they had just come thru so i thought i could venture out to get my paper. i have to read it everyday and do my crossword puzzle. its a lifelong habit of mine.

i just got home and got a text from my niece. she said they seen me go by their house and wondered what i was doing out in this blizzard. i said i had to read my paper. she asked if it was worth risking my life over. i dont know bout that. the road was just cleared off. i know it is 14 degrees out and the wind chill makes it minus 4 degrees. it is warm inside my car. my sons had to be out last night because they work at the casino. one got stuck on the way in and had to be pulled out by road and bridge. he stayed at the casino because he had to be at work at 6 this morning. we didnt know if our drive would be drifted over or not. my other son got off at 11:30 last nite. he made it home.

the girl at nation said she stayed at the casino last night also. her drive was drifting close. i said the roads that run east and west arent drifting because the wind is blowing that way. the ones that run north and south are drifting though. we have winter dance tonight. i dont know if the road will be open or not. they cleared it but the wind is causing drifts. we will see.

even though we still in a recession or something, the daily paper went up to 75 cents and the sunday paper is now 2.50. i get the daily delivered to my mailbox except on holidays. i know i can read it online but i like  a regular newspaper in my hands when i read. creature of habit i guess. newspapers are losing readers and they still jacked up the price on less news. they probably gonna cut their own throat. even if die-hard readers like me will brave a blizzard to get a paper.

merry christmas to all and i wish you a happy new year. well i wish everyone a good day each and every day that we walk this earth. wish people were more giving all year and not just this one holiday. so many people in this world dont have it like many of us do. we are to be thankful. happy holidays.

for the first time in a long time we had young folks over last night for x box. kinda missed that. it was my sons, nephews and their friends. they took over the living room while mary and i watched the k u basketball game in the other room. dont know which room cussed more. k u finally won. they are better than the national media gives them credit for. after the game we did our bit to support local native business. in other words we went to the casino. it was kinda deserted. maybe not. after all it was the first part of the week and was after 10:30. we didnt win, but recycled some per cap into our casino.

got up early this a.m. and went to mayetta to have breakfast. after last nights loss we didnt dare to eat at our casino. it costs  too much to walk thru there. the diner in town serves good food. small town diners are like that. you also get great service. gotta support local business. it beats driving to the city just to eat.

headed to town to stock up before the expected snow storm hits. they say maybe up to 8 inches of snow coming. didnt see any indians at wal mart. we also went to a meat locker in a small town nearby. i used to take the pigs i raised over the years there to have them butchered. i also bought some pigs already raised from them over the years. the meat is always better than what you buy from grocery stores. we bought a big 27 pound ham for a big christmas dinner. it wont be on christmas though. we going to a family bingo/dinner that day.  we eat then play bingo until everyone wins. we all bring prizes. it is fun.

we have been getting christmas cards from friends and relatives. we tack them up on the kitchen wall until christmas is over. i kinda hate it though when i get a card from someone i didnt send one to. then i have to go out and  get another card and send it off so i wont appear to be a scrooge. i put a tree up for the same reason. maybe later we will cruise the clusters and check out the christmas lights.

the u.s. issued an apology to native americans. it was part of the billions of dollars defense appropriation bill that was signed into law by the president monday. its the first official apology and says “the united states, acting through congress….recognizes that there have years of official depredations, ill conceived policies, and the breaking of covenants by the federal government regarding indian tribes. ” it goes on to apologize for the “many instances of violence, maltreatment and neglect inflicted on native peoples”. well…now i feel better. too bad my ancestors who were most affected by all that arent here to hear that. the apology goes on to say it isnt intended to support any lawsuit claims. well heavens no.

i heard the sound of thunder earlier this afternoon. kinda neat to hear that in the winter. i used to miss the sound of thunder when i was out bumming around the country. i put tobacco out when i heard it. i had to do that all the time when i was a kid. still do. i guess the snow is coming tomorrow. may get to hunt rabbits again.

shanokwe...my niece named after my mother

i finally got to go per capping last nite.  i have been busy helping at a coupla funerals. seen so many indians at walmart i thought there was a pow wow in town.

my wants in life are simple. i got a massage at the mall. its a place that does acupressure. i get one there every per cap. they are great. i had a pain in my back that disappeared. and i have been having pain in my elbows, hope that aint arthritis. they made it go away. then they talked me into a foot massage treatment. i hesitated but they said i would like it. i had been dancing several days at the last few ceremonies. so i took them up on it. i about fell asleep on the chair. my feet felt great. have to go back there again.

the quarterly tribal paper came out yesterday. i noticed they put a picture of me and my brothers in one section about remembering loved ones. we had the picture taken at one of the potawatomi gatherings. our tribe gave a stuffed buffalo head to the host tribe. so we had it stood up on the table and posed with it. it looked like me, gary and larry were standing with a buffalo. they put that same picture in the gathering program. i remember about 40 people taking a picture when we were posing. it was crazy. us 3 brothers ran together for over 50 years. the stories we can tell….   i do miss my brother larry. he has gone on to that great blog site in the sky.

our state legislators passed a new law. they meant well i suppose. the law is directed at teen drivers. they cant text while driving after jan. 1.  good idea but why stop at teens. it should apply to all drivers. legislators are known to favor one group over others.

someone needs to make a youtube thing about tiger. you know where some dingy chick is crying and asking ‘whywont they leave poor tiger alone’. i am guilty as well. i dont know how many tiger jokes i have told. when people are in the public eye, they probably have to expect that. it is a bit much though to think celebrities are our role models. they just human , and got all of our faults too. to expect them to be above all that is asking too much. tiger is still the best golfer in the universe. he aint even stratched the surface on the records he will set. he needs to get his ass back on the fairway.

k u basketball on tomorrow. so i know how i will spend my saturday.

i went rabbit hunting the other morning and there was a fog out. it looked like the road just disappeared into nowhere. sorta like an old twilight zone show. i know that ages me remembering that old show. i had to get a picture of it. a few rabbits were out. i got one to go with the one my nephew gave me. i had them for supper last night. that was a real treat. i used to give my first one of the season to a neighbor of mine. she was a dear old lady. shes gone now, so i kept my first one this year. i was out walking 3 different times. i covered several miles in the timber. i went skunk a few times but it was worth it just being out in the timber. it was a bit brisk but wasnt bad. anytime out in nature is time well spent.

today is per cap day. potawatomi christmas as it is known round these parts. the mall and walmart should be full of injuns. i wont get to head to town til later. we gotta finish up a ceremony and got another funeral to do tomorrow and the day after. then we have our winter dance. oh well.

i remember when they used to draw names for christmas. that was an adventure. no matter how much effort you put into it, seems like you got ripped off in the end. they should put a new twist on it and make a rule that the presents have to be bought off tv ads. i can see it now, the polite smile when someone gets a blanket with sleeves on it.  or an obama chia. you could even draw two names with the great deals they have on tv, since you get two of everything.

our snow is slowly melting away. its still early winter so i bet we get some more later. it didnt drift too bad. my great uncle told me about back in 1918 or so when just the tops of the fence posts were visible. he said the drifts were over 5 feet high in places. and he said they couldnt make it to town in the horse and wagon. we havent had snow like that for years.

i gotta get ready..

the big winter storm that hit most of the country left us with plenty of snow also. we didnt get it as bad as other parts of the country and probably not as much as other parts of the state. north of here they got 12 inches of snow. back east states got snow measured by the feet. i dont know what we got. maybe 6-8 inches or so. hard telling. i know it covered my car up.

the tribe has been good to come by and clear the drive. yesterday after they came thru the wind started blowing. that caused our drive up to the big road to drift over. we got stuck in our drive. we couldnt make it out. so we stayed in. its a good thing that ku basketball was on. even that was an iffy thing. the snow covered the satelite dish for awhile and we didnt have some channels. mother nature is still more powerful than modern technology. it was alright by game time.

one of my homeboys that works for the tribe came checked on me this morning. he knew i couldnt get out. he drove a 4 wheeler, they have enough clearance to make it thru. a car doesnt, as i found out. i have to go help at the funeral tonite and tomorrow. so they gonna send someone to clear the drive again. the wind stopped blowing so it should be alright. it will stay below freezing for the next few days, so the snow wont melt.

after the snow moved thru we had to deal with cold temperatures. it wasnt enough to tell us it was in the single digits, the weather people added that with the wind chill it was below zero. i am sure grateful that we have wood stacked in the basement. i remember growing up and thinking the old house we lived in was cold, even with a fire. insulation and storm windows werent common then. people survived though. they had to be tougher, not by choice but out of necessity.

i had to think of my dog and other animals when the temperature dropped below zero. i thought how it must be for them. they deal with it. i built a dog house for konugish. i situated it in a corner that blocks the north and west winds. the other day i went rabbit hunting for an hour or so. i did get to see one rabbit run in the snow. i didnt get a shot at him though. i remember them saying we call rabbits ‘mswe’ because of the tracks they leave in the snow. the tracks have 3 parts to them. the wind was blowing so i came in early. i may go again later.

i will have to clear a path to the chicken house. i feed them inside the chicken house. just too much snow on the ground to feed them in their chicken yard. they have stopped laying eggs. i may butcher a couple of them sometime to make some tortilla soup with. the doc said i should give up eggs anyway. i also have to clear my car off, get it ready to venture out.

it snowed last nite and more is expected. or as my mother used to say ‘nesh na geh e pok’ –because its winter.  well i guess that is one way to look at it. it is after all winter. gotta expect snow sometime.

the tribes road grader cleared my drive. i appreciate that. i remember being snowed in for 4 and a half days once. its not like that anymore. they really make an attempt to get to everyones house now.

i may go walking into the timber later to see if i can scare up some rabbits. ko nu gish will probably follow me. he wont let me go anywhere without tagging along. my little heeler pup wont be around to follow. someone ran over the little critter. thats 75 bucks down the drain. i will get another one later. kinda wish i had some beagles to hunt rabbits with.

when i was young and we had plenty of rabbits i would walk all day to hunt them. i remember back then before per caps we would put bread sacks over our socks before putting on our shoes. that would keep our feet dry and prevent them from freezing. we didnt have good boots like today. poor injuns had to make do with what was available. them days are gone but not forgotten.

we would skin any rabbits we shot and hang them in the cold for a few days. this would cure them and make them taste good. i did this a few years back. i hung about 5 rabbits on nails in my carport. i came home hungry for rabbit cuz i knew they were ready. thing was there were no rabbits hanging anymore. someone came along and glommed onto my cured rabbits. such is life.

we have some ceremonies coming up. should be able to get thru even with more snow coming. we always make do.

heading to see a play today called wicked. its sort of a prequel to the wizard of oz, about the good witch and bad witch. i havent been to a play since…well dont know if i ever went to one. at boarding school we had to go see one every easter about the crucifixation etc. i was young then. this should be different. the play did well on broadway so it is taking the show on the road. i look forward to seeing it.

i received a notice from a high school classmate of mine.  she reminded me that we are the 40 year class at next years reunion. 40 years. damn…thats a long time ago. i have said i regret not keeping in touch with my classmates. my life took me down many avenues.

i had to tip over my rain barrels. they were still full of rain. i didnt want them to freeze. that would have ruined my barrels. i need them for next growing season. no guarantee that we will get the same amount of rain that we had this year.

i seen an ad on t.v. promoting a christmas cd by bob dylan. no…say it aint so bob.  i didnt think bob would get that commercial. but i bet it sounds good if it is dylan. my brother larry liked dylan. so do i. i went to see him in concert 3 times. i still have a dozen of his albums. he was a hellva songwriter. he said something with his music. wasnt just a lot of screaming. i miss that in song writing.

i better get ready to go see a play…its 2 and 1/2 hours long. gotta go.

i have been busy working in the basement. when my sons came home for thanksgiving they helped me move the sheetrock to the basement. we then hung the rock and started taping. we got most of the work out of the way over the weekend. since then i have been finishing up. i havent done much drywall finishing but i do it. i just dont have that touch that years of working at it gives you.  oh well it is a basement. it will look alright.

i am doing all the little things that need to be done before painting. i sanded the first coat then i put the second coat on the joints and nail holes. i also finished the doorways. its a good thing i have a fire going in the basement stove. it is warm and it helps dry out the taping compound. the tribe delivered another load of wood today. just in time for the cold snap that is arriving.

the basement has needed work  for a time now. i thought no sense in doing it until other work was done. we had gutters put on in the last year. that will have solve the drainage problem somewhat. at least the water will divert away from the house. i gave up the idea they will come do landscaping so the gutter will have to do. we also got a new sump pump. the last time the basement flooded was because electricity went out. i only had flooding 3 times in the past 20 some years i have lived here. so it is not a recurring problem. just one that has to be dealt with now and then. i have raised my appliances up in case that ever comes up again. hopefully not.

when i am done taping, finishing and sanding it will be time to paint. i will paint the entire basement white. so it will reflect  available light. it should brighten it up. i cant wait until the whole thing is done. i saved this project until winter. i thought if i had to work in the basement, it would be best when i had a fire going.  it is cozy down there.

today the temperature was in the middle 50s so i went for a walk. i did my usual two miles. i walked 39 miles last month. i hope to keep logging miles even during the winter. i  walked in the winter the past few years. i enjoy a brisk walk. it aint that bad. i see more animals while walking in the winter it seems. gotta keep my exercise going. helps with the arthritis. and bursitis. i wont let them get me down. staying busy helps.

i was heading over to the nation station the other day and seen these wild turkeys in the buffalo pen. they moved so fast it was hard to get a picture of them. we have many of them on the rez.  i lucked out and dropped one while hunting in the timber along little soldier creek once. they dont weigh as much as the domesticated kind.

today is a day we give thanks. i know i am grateful for so many things. i love my home, remembering the days when i used to hitchhike to nowhere. wandering around is no way to live. i am thankful i am alive. i know that i could just as well not be here now.I am lucky my over indulgence in alcohol,drugs and violence didnt kill me. i think of my friends and relatives that are not here anymore. i miss my mother, 3 brothers and too many friends that i have lost. i will always remember them. i am grateful that i can sit down and have a big meal with my family. i never forget the times that i have gone hungry. i know that many people in the world still go hungry in spite of the wealth surrounding them. i am grateful my garden produced so well this year. there were years i didnt get much from my garden.

the list could go on and on. there is much to be thankful for. i wish everyone happy holidays.