Reznjun

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it is an election year. soon candidates will be popping up like mushrooms. election years are good. people get out shake hands and are nice to people. attendance at social and ceremonial functions is up. some whoppers are told that make even the most jaded smile.

so how do you get elected? if you cant find the ceremonial hall have someone draw you a map. gps wont work. be sure and help out. this creates the image you are a public servant and help people. that goes a long way. while you got your native on, mention your grand parents. dont forget to say one was a chief. definitely give your indian name and clan. if you aint got a name get one. pose for a picture with a ribbon shirt or satchkin on. dont wear minnetonka moccasins. these indians will spot that a mile away.

create a common enemy. this is an especially effective maneuver. it creates an us against them mentality that some thrive on. make them so heinous people will want to cleanse the earth of them. insinuate you are just the person to do that. this will come in handy later. you can point your finger at them so as to divert attention away from yourself if someone questions what you are doing. you can fall back on that many times.

form a posse. since alot of voters simply wont get out and vote you just need a core of voters that outnumber your opponents’. since not many get the 50 per cent plus one majority you only need to make the cut for the run off election. then its an either or situation. to paraphrase lincoln you dont have to fool all the people all the time, you just need to fool part of the people some of the time. create an alliance with the vocal few. get them on your side. make them feel you will help them in any endeavor. gotta head off petition drives before they occur.

have two personas. a public one and a private one. in your public persona dont just tell people what they want to hear, let them tell you what they want. act like you will go along with that. people will think you are a good listener and really care. in your private persona make any promises you think will make voters happy and vote for you. you dont have to deliver on these promises. after all this is politics. dont try to talk out of both sides of the mouth though. this takes a special skill only a few possess.

steer clear of qualifications. yours will pale next to an incumbent or someone that has been there before. they will list all the committees they have served on and voters will be enamored. they wont say they did little while on these committees. some voters wont realize that bureaucrats are more harm than good. the only real qualification you need is matching luggage. if you were in office previously say that it wasnt you but “them other guys”. you wanted to do something but they always held you back. playing the victim evokes sympathy.

travel to where other concentrations of tribal members live, preferably at tribal expense. tell them they are being left out and the ones on the rez are getting everything. make them think you will include them. again creating conflict makes you appear to be a champion of the cause. say you will create district offices to address their needs.

promise change. that always works. people want change. but usually its from one politician to the next. not much else changes. the system changes the candidate. or as the old saying goes ‘you dont change the rez, the rez changes you’.

do say you will be at work every day and your door will always be open. people buy into that. mention all the pertinent issues you can think of. say you will work with the youth–they are our future. you definitely promote education. say you respect the elderly and will work for them. you gotta say you will up keep all the cemetaries. and will work for the veterans. promise to get facebook and blogs back on tribal computers. our workers need entertainment. use tried cliches like “strengthen our infrastructure”, and “we gotta work with other government entities” and so on.

if this all sounds far fetched remember it has worked. forget that some will see right thru this. remember what abe said.