Reznjun

 we are on an official count down to the end of times according to how some interpret the mayan calendar. the new year is also coming up. so we either have one year left or a whole new life. at any rate it brings up the question ‘do i need to reform my ways’.  i probably could be more tolerant. fort injuns bug the hell out of me. same with wanna be radicals who missed the 60s.  it irritates me when people use titles or positions or just raise their voice to be god-like.  on the other hand, it must be the only time they are not impotent. i could give up gambling since i hit the premier card. i dont drink or dope so i may not. i will try to be a better person whether its the end of the world or a new year. i did know someone that knew their time was coming and was mean til the very end. others simply stayed who they were, and they were good people.  i used to tell people i couldnt change my act so i would change my hat.

we havent had any snow yet. i am still waiting to wash my face in the first snow. i dont know if we have any rabbits to hunt after the first snow. it hasnt been cold either. the only cold i experienced this year was going to the last general council meeting. some people down right cold toward their fellow tribal members. maybe they will change their act before the next g.c.

i have a goal that i probably wont reach before the end of the year. i am nearing having 100,000 hits on my website this year.  i am about 1,600 short. if i had only posted 3 or 4 more blogs this year. people dont read if you dont update.  so please santa make people read my blog before sunday. not bad for toning my act down. i know some of this stuff is pretty tame. i could advocate for more causes but i have my own trip to do. most of the causes i get involved in are ones not many want to mess with. i dont try to advertise the things i get involved in. i wonder why some people gotta tell others what good they are doing. i realize too that alot of the hits i got this year are spammers. they are the worst kind of parasite there is. they glom on to others work to push what they are hawking. i have deleted subscribers because many of them are spammers. i hope i didnt delete someone that actually wanted to read my ramblings.

i am waiting for a shipment of porky hair. i paid for about a pound and a half. i will buy the other pound and a half in a week or so. i wish i had it sooner. i could be sorting it while i have some time off. it will take most of this winter to sort the hair. i could make roaches just any old way like some do but i dont. i try to make the best ones i can. if  i didnt then it will be time to hang it up. i have to get back to making them. when i was working that garden job, i was just too tired some days to do anything when i got home. this new job is less strenous physically. goal for new year. make some real righteous roaches….

i am still enjoying time off. i rarely miss work so i am trying to catch up with things i dont get to do otherwise. we did clean chickens the other day. we did 17 of them. they were all roosters. so half over half of the chicks i bought last spring were roosters. thats alright though. i wanted to raise some for the meat. i kept the hens for eggs. the young roosters are in the freezer. we already cooked some chicken and rice. it was good.

i like the time off and seeing friends and family. that is what the holidays mean to me. i am not into the gift thing all that much. i have told my kids that we should be giving all the time. not just for one day in the year. same with thanksgiving. gotta be grateful all the time. not just one day. we had a big meal. indians dont need a reason to eat. a friend of mine stopped in a couple of times. we had a good visit.  i seen my boys. they work all the time and i dont see them as much anymore. so i enjoyed the holidays.

i am buying the porcupine hair i got an email about. it will be 50 ounces of hair. that is a little over 3 pounds of hair. alot of it is 8 to 10 inches in length. i had to pay more for it but it should be worth it. i will get my investment back because i should be able to make better roaches. the hardest part about making roaches is finding good hair. the supply houses dont give good hair at all. some of them pull the long hair out and sell it for a higher price. then it isnt worth what you pay either.

i have another fur trapper that has half a pound of hair. he will contact me when he has a pound. i am glad i dont have to buy it off ebay. that cost too much for too little. i am stock piling hair for the day when i do nothing but make roaches. i should have enough hair to keep me busy. many dancers ask for roaches that are 24 inches long with 10 inch front hair. they dont understand what it takes to get that much long hair. most roaches with long hair are owned by roach makers or who they tight with. if long hair was that easy to get everyone would have long roaches.

i got my trip to peru paid off. i am definitely going. i have a good supply of porky hair coming in. thats all i wanted for christmas. after i got to a certain age i found there isnt much that i really want. i havent had everything i wanted in life. i did find out i could live without having all i want. i am more appreciative of what i do have. i dont understand how some of our people are never satisfied. maybe they will learn someday. its about what you give not what you get.

we will have a few days off during the holidays.  i am not all into the christmas thing but then i am not too much of a bah humbug type either. i go along with holidays for the time off and to get together with friends and family.  i dont need a reason for that. i like to visit with people whenever i get the chance. people say they know it is me around because they hear me laughing. i dont think people laugh enough. gotta have humor.

today we are going to use some of that time off to clean chickens. some people volunteered to help. thats good because it is alot of work. we will give them some of the clean chickens for their help.  i remember when they used to do that all the time here. people would get together to help each other out. many people on the rez had chickens in the old days. not many do today. i remember we had a big chicken house in the back yard. i dont know what happened to it. my brothers and i would climb on top of the chicken house. one time we got ahold of mishos cigarettes and were playing like we were smoking. we caught the hayfield on fire.

i dont know how many chickens we will clean. the old rooster for sure. he has been here many years. he is a rhode island red. i have a few of red hens too. they are probably too old to lay eggs, so they will go.  the chickens i have now are delawares and buff orpintons. i will keep a delaware rooster because they have good color. i will be glad to get rid of some of these roosters. i am going thru 200 pounds of feed in no time. i have fed them long enough, now it is time they fed me. tortilla soup and/or chicken and rice.

now and then you hear some of the older people joke about cleaning chickens. back when someone died they would clean chickens for the feast. they had to because there wasnt much money around. so occasionally when someone gets out of the hospital they will say ‘no need to clean chickens yet’.

i went to the casino last night. the drink girl asked the chamoke next to me if he wanted another coffee. he didnt tip when she brought it. she didnt ask me if i wanted anything. and i do tip. then i got to thinking none of the waitresses have asked me if i wanted something to drink in some time. an older lady that was waitressing asked me and was joking with me. other than that time nada. back in my militant days i would wonder is it because i am indian. i am not into any militancy anymore unless someone really messes with me. i dont know if i am imaging being slighted or not. probably aint cuz i’m indian, otherwise they wouldnt be working here if they felt that way. i do know no one has brought me a drink in some time. and like i said i tip.

i went to the tribal employee dinner yesterday. they had lotsa eats. three different choices. i went to the shortest line. i dont like standing in line. after we ate they drew names for door prizes. i won. so i went to pick a gift. it was either popcorn, a blanket or a car cleaning and waxing kit. so i picked the car kit. then i got to thinking about it when i sat down. i thought damn i cant use this. my dog climbs on my car so the hood is all scratched up. the scratches are into the paint. i guess i can use the towelette things to clean the dash. my old rez mobile aint worth a wax job.

my first day off and i got up early. couldnt sleep in if i wanted. oh well got work to do……….

been looking for porky hair for my roach business. i am trying to buy all i can get. in the last two days i got emails from trappers that have over 3 pounds of hair. i told them i would buy all i can get. i dont blow all my money on gambling. i have some porky hair on hand but i keep buying so i can make better roaches. i sort my hair so that the hair is all black with colored tips. it looks alot better that way. i am trying to get ready for the day when all i do is make roaches for a living. you can never be too sure around this parts. i am probably too old to make a living with my back anymore. had to give the physical labor up when the old arthritis caught up with me.

i went to the senior citizen christmas party yesterday. i had a lot of fun talking and joking with people i know. we got a gift bag. and we played bingo. i used to play all the time back when we had our own bingo. that operation went south. so i kinda quit playing. every now and then i will play somewhere if they have high stakes bingo. i know most of the elders around here. have for years. so i make it a point to go visit with them when ever i see them. i dont always get a chance to talk to all of them so i visit them when i can.

they brought me some more wood. i have been having a fire going in the basement stove. i prefer wood heat to any other kind. it makes a house feel like a home. i grew up with wood stoves. back during the ice storm a few years back i had to stay home and rely on my  woodstove for heat and kerosene lamps for lights. it made me think of when i was young. we lived like that all the time.

we have some time off coming. i plan on spending some of that time cleaning the chickens we bought. we have way too many roosters. they will end up in the freezer. then we will have fresh chicken all winter. best soup around. will have to wait til the weekend………….

i didnt rush off to the mall with my per cap. didnt skip out of work either. i knew exactly where my money was going. i paid off the balance of my trip to peru. so i am officially going. that is what i have planned for the past year and a half or so. i wanted to go even earlier than that but it didnt work out a few years ago. i waited patiently because i knew it would happen. i get one more per cap before i go. i will save that one for my expenses. i will save more money besides that. if i get a chance i would like to book a plane to fly over the nazsca lines. that would really make this a bucket list trip.

every time i sign on this site i have to delete spam. sometimes i get over a hundred a day. its good that nothing is posted here without my approval.  then i have to delete the spammers that sign on as subscribers. i hope that i dont delete someone that actually wants to read my rantings. the spammers are a damn nuisance. they are like vermin. they latch on and try suck the blood out of blogs.

i went hunting last week. i havent gone hunting in awhile. when i was younger i went all the time. back in the old days you had to if you wanted to have meat on the table. this was before per caps. now not many go hunting. i dont consider road hunting all that much of a sport. its too damn easy to just ride around in a car or truck til you see something. then blast it with a high power. walking in the timber is more enjoyable for me. i used to walk all day. this past week we just walked for a couple of hours. the exercise part of it is good too. ended up i did get to shoot a squirrel. i was worried i wasnt a good shot anymore.i slacked off hunting when my eyesight wasnt as good as it was when i was younger. my commodity glasses worked.  with them on i have better than 20/20 vision. i havent singed a squirrel in awhile either. it didnt take long. since it was my first kill this year i didnt keep it. old injun way.

we have our winter dance this weekend. it will be hard to compete with per cap. people with money dont need to pray.  when people need help they call on our ways. when they dont need it, we cant count on them. then some act all tradish and tell people how tradish they are. gotta walk the walk too…….

i dont know what i used to do before gambling became my third religion. behind my traditional beliefs and k u basketball. my kids are grown and on their own.  i own my home. i paid off my credit cards. i dont drink, smoke or dope. so that leaves me one vice that other older people get into….gambling. every time i go to the casino or the buffet i see older people. i have joined their ranks. i tend to think casinos were invented to keep old people off the streets.

i didnt realize how often i have simply gone to the casino because it was something to do. i asked for a new players card to replace the one i forgot. i was told i am only 5 points away from being a premier player.  dont know what the hell that means. well for one thing it means i must have dropped some bucks at our casino. i usually play back whatever i win. i write off the night as my entertainment. so if i break even i see that as my night out. i know i wont ever get rich gambling. at any rate i will move up a card. that means i can eat at the lounge reserved for patrons with the same card and above. i get triple points on tuesdays. i will get a free room now and then. so i guess i will get some of my money back. i would have all of it if i stayed the hell out of there.

today is per cap day. that means many will not be at work. i will go in. i rarely miss work. it is just another day. i never run to town to spend the money. i have it earmarked for something before i ever get it. normally i buy or pay for things i have wanted for time. this per cap is going toward my trip to south america. i already paid my deposit and plane ticket. i will pay off the balance of the tour. then the next per cap in march will be my expense money when i do leave on my trip. i already bought a new nikon camera, with an extra battery and disk for the trip.

yesterday i went to the big dinner they had at the senior citizen site. it was fun. i got to talk to alot of people i know. joked with a few. the language program i work for had something. we gave away a gift to anyone that said something in potawatomi. we gave away over 50 or 60 gifts. so that many people said something in our language. i always thought that there was alot of our language left in our people. i knew words long ago even when i didnt study the language.

cant wait for the weekend…dance time.

i paid for my plane tickets to peru. so it is semi official i am going to machu picchu. or at least i am going to peru. that much is definite. i still have to pay the balance for the tour i am going on by the end of january. no problemo. i have been saving for the past year. and per cap is this week. all of it will go toward my trip. i will have it covered.

i have looked forward to taking this trip for a long time. scratch that off the bucket list.  i wont leave until the end of april.  i am up for it already. the tour includes going to 9 different ruins. i have been fascinated with ancient ruins for a long time.  this trip also includes a visit to a museum that houses many incan artifacts. i will get a chance to soak in the hot springs the incans used.  i take a 10 hour train ride through the incan valley and thru the mountains. that should be fun. i have only ridden trains in europe. and one here when i was born. they shipped me back from oklahoma on a train.

one good thing about this tour is i will get free time to check out places on my own. the tour of machu picchu will be one day. then we go back next day to explore on our own. it will be the same in cuzco and lake titicaca. one day on a tour and a half a day on my own. cant beat that.  only thing i gotta worry about is the altitude. i have been walking on the treadmill since i got it. i plan on being in shape for this trip.

i like to keep a fire going in our basement stove. it keeps the house warm.  i like to have the floor warm in the morning. i bought some new stove pipes. i usually replace them every year. i clean the pipes out regularly during the winter. if i dont then they usually smoke. so i keep them clean.

we had a big family dinner. it was just a get together so we could eat and visit. it was alot of fun. nice to be around family and friends. we had a gift thing. we all had to bring a gift. then we drew numbers so we would pick in order. thing was you could glom onto someone elses gift if you wanted. i ended up with a hand made quilt. glad i got to keep it. i remember my mother making them.

i have seen that young eagle a few more times. it sits in the trees near my house. then when i come down the drive it flies away. it is neat to be able to watch it fly.

i was contacted by another trapper. he said he had some porky hair to sell. i told him i would buy as much as i can. i havent been making roaches but i am stock piling hair. i want to have as much as i can get. eventually making roaches is all i will do. the more hair i have, the better the roaches will be. it is hard to find a good supply of porky hair. i have bought it from many different sources. then i dont hear from the suppliers anymore. glad they find me through my ad i have on the internet.

per cap week this week. then our winter dance is also this week. and i have a wedding to do. will be busy….

back when i was a young thug i used to be all into that cave man mentality. lotsa guys were then. one time i was drinking in a rugged bar. it was a cheap dive.  some dude didnt like my act there i guess. so he was  acting all macho. he said ‘i got a .243 out in the car’ figuring that would scare me and i would back off.  i said ‘yeah i got a .44 mag out in the car’. musta been enough cuz that was the end of the discussion. thankfully stupidity didnt rule the day.

i grew out of those hoodlum days. i dont like to play that my gun is bigger than yours.  some people like to bully others. that is the nature of some people. they get away with it until someone calls their bluff.  i remember what my bros behind the walls said to me. they said i was a nice guy but not to let people take that as a sign of weakness. i told them i know when to back someone off. they said good. going after someone over some trivial matter just aint worth it.  i learned long ago violence aint the answer. some of my baddest bros  are dead and gone now. being bad didnt do them any good. the only fight i have left is with myself. when i beat the demons within than i will win the biggest fight of all.

i got a kick out of what they are doing to that guy in illinois that tried to sell a congressional seat. they sentenced him to 14 years in prison. i think they should reward him for his honesty. at least he was up front about it. selling power for money. i can understand that. what about big business owning lotsa of senators and representatives. they exchange favors for votes. that is legal. so why send this dude up the river. he only attempted to do what is done legally.

i see my website is no longer blocked by the tribal website. my reads per day went down for a while when that happened. then they picked back up to the same level as before. my website aint a threat to anyone. i toned it down big time. i see some dumb stuff going on but i dont concern myself with it. kinda reminds of when i was walking down the street in san fran one day. i past by the anything goes businesses. the hawker out front hollered at me ‘come see the show’. i told him ‘i  got my own show to do’. he smiled and said have a good one. thats about it. i got my own trip to do. aint got time to watch others do theirs….

it is now getting time to start planning. not for christmas but for per cap. thats kinda like indian christmas. the night before when everyone goes to bed they just anxious about next day. then the per cap hits the bank. then there are lotsa toys, big eats etc. hell yeah.

havent thought bout what i am going to do with mine. well yeah its spent. i will pay my trip to machu picchu off. then i will be booked for a trip of a lifetime. or at least for the past year and a half.

i remember living here on the rez before we called it the rez. i know the days when there wasnt per cap. i can imagine in the future some little kid asking his grand pa ‘what was life like before we had per cap misho’. the old guy will say ‘well we made it kid, now get your two hundred dollar sneakers off the couch’. and that goes for your ipod too.

at any rate next week is per cap time. some of the local rednecks tolerate us all year. then when we go to cash in our per cap they give those looks. like the i pay my taxes look.  they never had to live with being called a effin injun. and get past over for the job even when there is only one applicant. thats good though. nobody should have to live that way. those are the taxes we pay. well that and several states of real estate.

it will be a boost to the local economy. all the walmarts will be full of indians. the casinos will gladly take some of it back. guys like me will finally change the oil in the car. and this country injun needs a black lambskin jacket.  on and on.

hurry up per cap.

the weather guy said it may snow later tonight. mostly rain though. the snow is too late for the tribe to shut down though since the week is over. maybe we can work out a comp time thing. if it snows on a weekend or holiday we carry the snow day over into the week. i used to go rabbit hunting at the first snow. we were told we couldnt eat them until then. not many rabbits left anymore. road hunters get them. they cover alot of ground driving around. we had to walk all day to get a few. i would walk 10 to 15 miles a day while hunting.

i can appreciate the statement ‘under foot’. our little pups are everywhere we walk. almost step on one every time i go outside. i make sure they are out of the way when i back the car up. i probably will give the pups away if some one is willing to give them a good home. a few are interested already. i will keep the blue though. it has great markings. it is a blue but has red color too.

i have seen that immature golden eagle a few more times. it seems to hang around in this area. it has to be nesting somewhere nearby. i thought they only came here during the winter. i think they are breeding here. i have seen a number of young ones over the years.

i bought 30 chicks this past spring. now they are pretty well grown. i can see that there are alot of roosters in the bunch. or is it a herd. at any rate we are going to clean chickens one of these days. i remember doing that as i was growing up. mom used to be real good at that. she could clean one in no time. i watched her enough that i can too. we already had an offer of help. i promised to give some fresh chicken in return for the help. i will have the best tortilla soup around. nothing beats fresh chicken that you raised yourself.

sometimes i am a bah humbug type. i think it is a holdover from boarding school days. most of the kids went home for the holidays but i didnt. so i really didnt get into the whole thing. lately though i have been putting up a tree even though the kids are grown and gone. i like to look at the lights on the small artificial tree. at least i dont kill a living thing for just one time. i will put the fake tree up this weekend. then i can be like cheech and chong and get off on the lights.