almost december

I listened to the K U game on the radio last night. cant get more rez than that. I hope the new tv deal is making a hellva lot more money. not many of the fan base  here can watch games now. prices at home games have gone up too. I can’t watch my favorite team unless it is a big game.

there is a backlash at the president using a racial slur at an event that was suppose to honor the code talkers. thanks for the concern America . where the hell were you when they used attack dogs, rubber bullets, pepper spray and water cannons on indians that were praying for clean water?

I am not at shocked by anything this president says. he insults almost everyone. well except for the “alt-right” and the Russians.

I just finished reading another book. it was about indian boarding schools. it was actually written by an indian that went to boarding school. I nodded a few times, thinking yeah know that feeling. I ordered a book off the internet. I had it once but someone ‘borrowed’ it. haven’t seen it since.

I had some left over wild rice I heated up. I usually reach for my hot sauce when I eat. I hesitated and wondered do you put hot sauce on wild rice? I thought why the hell not. I use hot sauce on everything, so I did. it tasted good to me. country indians can do anything they want.

i think i will go to bingo tonight. in a coupla weeks my old folks check is coming. so is my per cap. who knows i might win. if not, hell i have been broke before.

gotta do a graveside service today. then got another ceremony after that. good thing i am retired. i never know when i will be called on. after that i will be able to get back to sorting porky hair.

warm november

temperatures are  suppose to be in the low 70s today. that is real warm for the end of November. we let our fire go out for the past week or two. it will be going again but not any time soon.

I don’t remember it being this warm this late in the year. there is no such thing as global warming or climate change though right? that’s what the people who are destroying the planet tell us. meanwhile we are trying to recycle plastic bottles to save the environment.

I will take advantage of the warm weather by doing outside chores this week. I will turn over my compost pile. I might start another pile with the   leaves laying in the yard. I will clean the garage out again. it always fills back up with too much junk. I cant find a tool when I need it. maybe I will go hunting again. I have a doctor appointment and lab tests coming up in a few weeks. gotta get my exercise in before then.

I will toss more wood into the basement this week. the tribal guys dump it near the back of my house. that saves me from carrying it a long way. I use a wagon i got at a garage sale to load it in. that cuts down on trips carrying armfuls of wood. it saves me from back pain too. I pull a wagon full to the basement window and drop the wood in. when it gets real cold outside I reach for another log to toss into the stove.

the weather may have been warmer but my chickens aren’t laying that many eggs. I am getting a few but nothing consistent. last year they laid even when it was colder. maybe they will pick up soon.

I have more porky hair to sort. it is a never ending chore. I can do some binge watching while working. I recorded some movies this weekend. most of the movie channels were free. don’t want to sound all rez but it was free hbo, showtime and starz. I don’t have them in my package. don’t have K U basketball either. unless it is a big game like Kentucky. I wont get to watch the game tomorrow night. I listen to more games on the radio than I watch on tv.

when I got my retirement money a year or so ago I bought myself a new computer. it was the newest, fastest machine I could buy. even got dual monitors. now it is slowing down. sometimes it will freeze up. I try to do a disk clean whenever I can. it automatically defrags, so that aint a problem. probably too much adware on it. maybe later I will have to take it to a shop to get it running faster. I grew up without electricity but cant live without my computer.

will see what this week brings.


had enough eats

pleased that I haven’t over eaten even if I have been around plenty of food. we had a big family thanksgiving dinner on Thursday and went out for Chinese last night.

I enjoyed the food but didn’t act like a kokosh. I wont ever forget the days when I have gone hungry. I am glad my kids and grand kids didn’t have to know those times.

seen a few indians on facebook say something to the effect that we shouldn’t celebrate the thanksgiving holiday. something to do with “colonialism” or something. didnt they glom onto that old phrase from the aim days? well they entitled to their belief as I am mine. its got nothing to do with celebrating the day. it is a time when everyone is off at the same time and we can get together. aint celebrating nothing but family time.

I don’t get how some think what they believe is the only way. maybe for them but not for everyone else. a few kinda get pretty self righteous about it. back in boarding school days I had beliefs forced on me. once out of that system I decided I only believe what I want to. when people try to impose their beliefs on me, I don’t say anything. I try to live what I believe in, but I don’t expect anyone else to believe the same things I do. `

we have some ham left over. I will dice it up to freeze. later we will have ham and beans. that’s rez. that is one reason I like to have ham. grew up on ham and beans.

the leaves are falling and are laying everywhere. I see piles of them. it makes me wanna get ambitious and rake them up.  if I do, I will start a new compost pile. it wont be ready for spring time but the present pile will be. I will get ready for the following year.

if the warm weather we are having holds up I will be able to toss more wood into the basement. the tribe brought me another load before the holiday. I will have enough to last me thru most of the winter now. best part is I wont have to go outside to get it. it will be stacked in the basement.

I haven’t been working on roaches lately. well i have sorted hair for many hours. so I guess i have worked on them. just haven’t finished tying the last one. I aint worried about it. I know that I will make plenty of roaches over the course of the winter. will be back on track after the holiday.

happy thanksgiving

this is an old picture I took of some wild turkeys. nope wont be eating any of them for thanksgiving. they don’t weigh as much as the tame variety. America is about glut, as is this holiday.

once we had an all employee thanksgiving dinner at this one place I worked. the boss kinda mentioned going around the table and having everyone tell what they were thankful for. we didn’t do it because there were so many workers.

I am glad we didn’t. I wouldn’t have known how to respond to such an open ended topic. I might have sounded too rez. mighta said something like ‘I am thankful I am still alive’. or ‘thankful I didn’t drink myself to death’. etc. there are many things I am thankful for. and that is every day. not just this one day.

when I say I am thankful I am still alive, I don’t say that in jest. I know I am fortunate I still walk this earth. I could have died a number of times. in my youth I led such a life that I accepted I would die young. I didn’t. I am thankful for that. I lost many real down bros and family members. I miss them. I am thankful I will always carry fond memories of them thru out my life.

along that same line, I am thankful I have a good home. it is a place where me and my family feel welcome. I have watched the trees I planted grow to almost 40 feet tall. that’s stability I needed.  I remember the days of going nowhere in my youth. I didn’t have a home or a place of my own. I just wandered place to place.

after boarding school I rejected religion. I could never understand how you could teach God’s love by beating little indian kids. later I learned not all church people are hypocrites. many are truly good people. I was guided back to my native traditions. it gave me an inner peace I couldn’t find anywhere else. I am thankful for that.

I was heavily into alcohol and drugs in my misguided youth . I didn’t really have any purpose in life. I lost many jobs, golden opportunities and friendships because of my drinking and doping.  i went hungry many times because of the lifestyle I led. those days are long gone. I am thankful for that.

while bumming around, I experienced or witnessed many injustices in this life.  I didn’t have much but I seen that many had less than I. I learned to appreciate what I had. I seen too much violence, ugliness and stupidity. I am thankful I learned I didn’t have to be like that. I try to treat people good because I seen so many treat others badly.

I know there are people that don’t like me or my family. I couldn’t care less. don’t wanna to be around such bitter, negative people anyway. I am thankful the people that love and respect me genuinely do. they are the ones I care for. the haters don’t get any respect, maybe that’s what makes them so ugly. something aint right in their life. I am thankful I don’t have to live like them.

there are many things I am thankful for. I am always aware of that. I grew up on this rez when we had nothing. now we live in a time of plenty. I can appreciate what I have because I never forget when I had nothing.

seen my aunt off

last nights sunset was especially red. I had to see if I could get a picture of it with my cell phone. I did. i found that usually cell phones cant capture the sunset like you see them. I got this one with out a filter. don’t have any, anyway.

last night, I went to the rosary for my aunt Zelda who passed away recently. she was 94 years old. quite a few of my relatives on my paternal side live to an old age. I will see if that holds true for me. I always had a feeling I would live to be an old man. I used to think if I aint dead yet, I wont ever die.

today I went to our lady of the snows for the funeral mass. I joked with a few people that I haven’t been inside a church in years, hope I wont get struck down by lightning. one said we will see. I didn’t. while sitting in that church I remember that my brothers and I would serve mass when we were younger. we would serve while bare footed. talk bout poor indians. the ritual has changed from the days I used to go. we had to do the responses in latin.

I quit going to church because of the way I was treated at boarding school. someone I told that to didn’t understand what I was talking about. guess they wouldn’t since they didn’t go like I did. I experienced the horror stories that you hear of. I don’t need someone to tell me what boarding schools were like.

after mass we went to shipshe cemetery. my aunt Cecelia is buried near aunt Zelda. I noticed on the way a tribal vehicle didn’t stop for the funeral procession. I noticed that a few other times too. guess some weren’t taught respect for the dead.

we went back to snows for dinner. it was a nice dinner. I visited with relatives there. after eating I came home. I will sort porcupine hair til the K U game comes on. again I wont get to watch it.. too bad someone on the rez aint got that channel. even if they did would they invite some country indians over to watch the games. doubt it. like the old days, I will listen to it on the radio.

kiddie sleepover

Andrew and Samuel wanted Cecelia to sleep over last night. they are close. I brought in the air mattress and aired it up. only used it once in camping this year. we put it on the living room floor. they had fun jumping on it until I made them stop. they finally settled down. a house full of kids is sorta noisy but I like to hear my grand kids playing and having fun.

I must be mellowing out. yesterday we took Andrew to his soccer game. he bumped the car door that was parked next to us. I looked at it and it wasn’t scratched or dented. we went in for his game. after the game I seen both my car doors had been keyed. big scratch about 4 foot long.  I wasn’t really mad about it. my old car has over 200 thousand miles on it. it wont be worth anything when I am done with it. I did think that was pretty chicken shit of the guy or gal that did that.  gutless wonder.

Andrew didn’t want to dance at the pow wow when we got back from soccer. I wasn’t all that surprised. he was all game getting his outfit ready. when they got to the bingo hall he didn’t want to dance. I don’t believe in forcing a kid to dance. it should be fun. my favorite dancers are the ones that look like they are enjoying it. well at least we got him ready. it will give us more time to add to his outfit.

we are planning on a nice family dinner for thanksgiving. we will have the usual turkey and dressing. we bought a smoked ham from the meat locker. it cost more but they taste better than those spiral ham things from the grocery store. I scored a buffalo roast (and some buffalo sausage from the tribe). we was gonna use the roast in our corn soup but will use deer meat instead. my brother in law gave us several bags of deer meat. maybe we will use the buffalo sausage in the wild rice. .

we will also have nenwezhek, indian tea, dried squash and kakasewabo. probably some of the sweet potatoes I grew and mashed potatoes with gravy. we will also have some of the blueberries we picked this year. we will use real pumpkin for pie.

I think I will save the two rabbits until I get a few more. we will cook the two squirrels joe and I got while hunting. kinda reminds me that little soldier creek wasn’t running. just a few pools of water here and there.

sounds like a lotta food. diet be damned I guess. we do watch what we eat. one day of feasting wont be bad. it is what most of the country will be doing. I had a friend that used to fast on that day. I always think about him. and others. I don’t understand how anyone can be hungry in this day and age. we have the technology to feed everyone in the world but there is no profit in it. I am grateful for what I have every day.


made a bustle

my grandson Andrew wants an outfit to dance at pow wows. william got a whole bird from the fish and wildlife department. I have helped a number of people fix their feathers. mainly cuz a few “tradish guys” were ripping people off for their feathers. we used some of the feathers william got to make a bustle. I showed william how to fix the feathers. while he was doing that I was stringing the feathers to fix to a base. this is what we ended up with. the kid ought to be happy.

I picked up the rosette in the middle of the bustle at an indian shop (can you say that? don’t wanna offend my native friends). i seen a number of these on clearance sale. I knew this one would fit the middle of a bustle. i got it at a good price. other than the rosette and the pony beads for spacing the bustle is plain. I like it that way.

Andrew will be semi ready to dance at the pow wow tomorrow at the bingo hall. first he has a soccer game in lawrence at 11. then we gotta rush back to the rez. he has been dancing with an old roach I had hanging on the wall. it belonged to old man andy. don’t know why they gave it to me. i made it. I will let andrew wear one of the new ones I made. he glommed onto my deer dew claws to use instead of bells. we will see what else he has to wear on the spur of the moment.

it has been warm a few days. I took advantage of that to move the rest of my composted manure pile. I wheel barrowed it up to my grow boxes. I added the composted manure to each grow box. I added more top soil to each box also. when I cleaned out my stove ashes last week I added some of them to the boxes too. I threw in coffee grounds and egg shells also. my grow boxes will be ready by next spring.

I am happy I did that work to my grow boxes. I have decided I will build six   more grow boxes by next spring to even out the three rows. I put down the pond liner where they are to be built. this will kill the grass. i bought the pond liner cuz some hippies claimed it made the composting process speed up. it didn’t. they need to clean that bong out. I have a few pallets to take apart. I will use them to build the boxes.

tonite KU is playing. I wont get to watch it. its on a channel I don’t have. damn. I might listen to it on the radio. we had to do that back in high school. in them days they didn’t televise too many games. just tournaments. us indians would ask each other if we listened to the game. then we would talk about it. crazy ass indians.

today I am testing out my culinary skills again. I will  make some mish mot (most know that as tripe or menudo). I will add some hominy to it. that will be my supper while listening to the k u game.

getting a new winter coat

my sister jackie is gonna make me a capote coat out of a Hudson bay blanket. I got the blanket at an auction a few years ago. they sell for several hundred dollars. I couldn’t let it pass at the price I got it for.

I sent for a pattern off the internet. I am anxious to see what it will look like on me. don’t know where I will wear it. not to feed the chickens I bet. maybe it will look good hanging on the wall.

I have been busy sorting porcupine hair. don’t see an end to that chore anytime soon. people tell me they would be bored if they were retired. I don’t see how. its rare I have a day off to do nothing. I had to make the time to go hunting. I still want to go again.

I haven’t mentioned gambling lately. maybe because mine has curtailed so much. I only gamble what I can afford to lose. since I am retired that means less shonya (translation: money) to gamble on. I doubt new paint and new rugs will get me back. casinos aren’t interested in small time gamblers like me, as if they can afford to lose any customers.

I was up not too late last night. I was watching the K U-Kentucky mens basketball game. I put a $10 bet on it. K U won and I won. that should make us both happy. the tv announcers kept building up Kentucky even though we led most of the game. maybe they need to cover them bald heads, their brains must be too cold to work right.

I am happy to see they closed the infamous N road dumpster. while it was convenient it was an eyesore for us that live in this neighborhood. no matter what kind of sign was put up, some just could not comprehend throwing the trash in the dumpster. nor did they understand if it was full, just wait a few days until it is empty again. it wasn’t unusual to see plastic bags flying all around, stuck in trees etc.  trash is supposed to be bagged up, so that could be blamed on dumpster divers. some people just don’t give a damn, especially if they don’t have to live here.

I let the wood stove go out for a few days. it isn’t suppose to be that cold this week. it will get cold again. when it does I will fire the stove up. winter hasn’t even started yet………….

went hunting

joe and I went hunting yesterday. it was nice to be out in nature. i get my physical activity while i enjoy the peacefulness. we musta walked over 3 hours. we had to climb up and down creek banks.

we got two squirrels. we singed them and put them in freezer bags. I know some people skin them but we were taught to singe them. we still do. I have two rabbits in the freezer also. we will cook them on thanksgiving. we like to have an indian meal. we cook indian corn, wild rice, nenwezhek and any wild game we have besides the turkey and ham.

I was given a Pendleton hat because I always wear a hat. I was looking at it and noticed the label. it said made in china. I have a Pendleton coffee cup that says made in Thailand. now you see knock off Pendleton blankets.  some roaches are made with synthetic hair made in china. don’t know if this is funny or not.

I mentioned before I like to put cedar on the wood stove when a fire is going. a friend of mine that lives up north gave me two flat cedar trees. they were in gallon containers. I brought them home and transplanted them. that was a few years ago. now the trees are about 7 foot tall. I get my cedar from them when I need it.

my phone acts up now and then. it is an iPhone 6 plus. it was top of the line when I got it. now it is an old phone. I have looked at upgrading but am reluctant to because of the cost. damn sure aint gonna get an iPhone X that runs about a thou. the prices are getting ridiculous. I will have to use my 6 plus until it wont go no more.

today is my aunt Zelda’s birthday. she is now 93. maybe I will take the day off and go visit her. she is in hospice care.

wood stove is going

these are some of the pieces of beadwork that mary got with her dress. they were all made by blanche cook except the medicine wheel at the top. I was surprised to learn that it was made by the man that taught me how to make roaches. I am still making roaches over 40 some years later.

today is veterans day. I had to think of my brother larry. viet nam had an effect on him. I knew he had changed. he didn’t talk much about it. now and then when we were partying he would say something.

later he wrote a book in verse form about some of his experiences. I check out the price of his book from time to time. yesterday it was listed at from $70 to $880. I can imagine the look on his face if he knew it was going for that much. he had trouble selling it for $20 a copy. he gave me a few copies that I loaned out, never to be seen again.

at times I wonder about the book I am writing. my two older brothers both had a book done.  I have to get mine done so all three of us brothers can be published. cant compare our writing at all because we each write different. gary wrote about potawatomi history. mine will be more of an autobiography. my radical look on what I seen in my life.

I have several chapters of my book done. one about growing up poor on the rez with no electricity or running water. another about boarding school days. a few have read them and liked what I wrote. one said my book would be of limited interest. I am mainly writing this book to tell my story to my grand children, not to reach a big audience.

another said she wouldn’t have to make many changes to my writing if she was to help editing. I thought “changes” ? I don’t want anyone to change my words. wtf my story, my words. perhaps my thoughts on the matter could become an obstacle to getting published. I have no problem with using caps, etc.  blogging is an easier form to make a point. proper grammar isn’t totally necessary. I understand a book would have to be different.

I have parts of other chapters started. hard to write some of it like the days I was into alcoholism, drug abuse and violence. it was my lost weekend that lasted a decade or two. it aint like I want to glorify it or to relive it. it was part of what I had to go thru to get to where I am at now. looking back I could see where I was but at the time I couldn’t see beyond the right now. didn’t have the clarity I do now.

perhaps I better get back to writing my book since I am retired now. the reason I blog is so I can have practice writing. maybe when I get tired of sorting hair I can sit down and write some.

I tossed more wood into the basement. gotta keep our fire going. I was suppose to go hunting yesterday but it was a bit cold. we postponed our hunting until tomorrow.