end of the calendar year

the calendar year is about over. don’t know if its time to look back and reflect on the past year or not. guess I should be glad I made it thru another year.  i’m not real old but I know I am not young anymore.

when ever I am out and about on the rez I am usually drawn to older folks. we have  more in common than I find with the new wave indian. its hard to talk about what life on the rez was like years ago with some one that wasn’t there.

I have no new years eve plans. I probably will stay home. I don’t party. I see and hear people that glorify that lifestyle. I aint impressed. I know that drinking and drugging cost me dearly in my life. it wasn’t all fun and games. I took things to  extremes that others don’t.

once a young guy asked me to go drinking. I asked if he had enough for two or three weeks. he said no. I told him ‘then lets not bother’. he gave me a funny look. he didn’t know what I used to be like.

I lost interest in watching the news. I seen what the tv talking heads think are the main points of the past year. impeachment is at the top. don’t know why that is such a big deal. trump will get off no matter how incompetent he is. he can tell 15 thousand lies and his supporters still believe him. its even possible that he will get reelected. it just shows people in power can get away with anything. they get a different brand of justice than the average American.

our president is one of the more openly corrupt politicians we had ever had. he didn’t invent the system. he took advantage of it. the rest of the politicians are pretty much the same. that’s why they protect him. they wont change the system that they benefit from.

racism is reported more often now. that don’t mean its increasing. it has always been there. some people that haven’t experienced racism wont believe it happens.  trump didn’t invent it either. he uses it to rally his minions. people in power often make others use minorities as the target for their discontent or hate. then they tend to lose focus on their real problems.

the democrats had the most diverse group of presidential candidates ever. reality is none of the non white candidates have a chance. nor do any women have a real shot. many wont admit our first black president set a bar our current president cant match. instead the current president takes credit for what was already in place.  how many of the homeless in this country feel our economy is the best ever.

vaping caused a number of deaths. that caused some action with our law makers. none was taken to protect our school kids from getting killed. we spend an obscene amount of our national budget on defense but cant or wont protect our kids. there is  no big profit in keeping our kids safe.

I can go on and on about politics but don’t.  the more things change the more they stay the same. I heard that once and it makes sense. politicians are the problem, not the solution. really tho they are just puppets of the rich and powerful. democrats and republicans are basically the same thing. its like asking if we would rather be shot or hung. we may have a choice but the end result is the same.

happy new year.  hope y’all has a good year.


end of calendar year coming

got a fire going again. the temps have dropped slightly. it was cool enough to make me get the fire going. this country indian has been making fires so many years that i can make one in no time.  there is an art to it. I cleaned our stove pipes out so the fire is going good.

to me there is nothing like the warmth of a wood stove fire to make a house into a home. I love that feeling. even more so when I sprinkle some cedar on top of the stove. I like the smell of that. good mojo too.

no KU basketball game today. they will play tomorrow on a channel i get. i will record the game in case i miss the first part of it. i aint whining about the loss we had to ‘nova. no team goes undefeated. everyone loses multiple games in a season. some fair weather fans act like the world is falling apart.

i will have to record the K.C. chiefs game also. I will miss most of that game. I have to go to another funeral. I will be able to watch the game later. I don’t like missing any chiefs games.

i have added a lot of my music back into my newly reconditioned computer. I have several hundred cds so it will take me awhile to get all the songs I want. I am adding only the songs i want in my playlists. all my cds would take up too  much space.

I don’t have a favorite song list. I am lucky if I can narrow it down to a thousand songs that I listen to. i have about 10 playlists that i can listen to each one all day. i will make some more for variety. I listen to many different artists. I don’t listen to everything though. I don’t like rap, disco, bubble gum or pop.

i am going thru my indian tea fast. i am using it to replace pop.  I probably wont have enough to last me until it is time to pick it fresh this spring.  I will make do with what I have. I will make sure i pick enough to last me two years next time I pick it. I will still have some in case of an off year.

i was coming home from a funeral yesterday. instead of taking the paved road i took the back roads. I wanted to drive thru areas I grew up in. I  used to hunt or walk thru much of it. I knew every crick, ravine and stand of woods in the miles around the house I grew up in. I knew where wild onions grew, where to find mushrooms, where the swimming holes were and where to  hunt for rabbits or squirrels.

years ago I was walking over the top of a hill. it was in that same neighborhood where i grew up. as soon as I cleared the ridge I noticed all the change that had occurred. none of the buildings or development was there when i was young. I was surprise so much had changed. things like that remind me I have aged somewhat. I didn’t just become rez indian when the money came. I lived here when there was none.

year winding down

we have walked on the road for 3 days this week. the temperatures have been in the high 50s and low 60s. the snow is pretty much melted. maybe some left in the shade. it is still winter. we will have cold  and more snow yet.

it has been warm enough that we let our wood stove fire go out. i did toss the rest of the fire wood into the basement  though. it will be stacked for later use. next cold snap this indian wont have to go outside to get wood.

I will clean the stove pipes before we start a new fire. I usually clean the pipes several times a year. the wood stove burns more efficient when the pipes are cleaned out. it is much safer too.

the chickens are continuing to lay eggs. we are getting about 8 eggs a day. dont know how many i would be getting if that damn critter didnt kill 9 of my hens.  I made sure I got breeds that lay in the winter. i had thought about buying a solar light for the chicken house but I am getting eggs anyway.  I see no need for it.

i am not real big into Christmas. I think that is a hold over from boarding school days. we were hundreds of miles away from home. they played Christmas constantly. I still cant listen to it without thinking about those days.

yesterday we did a big dinner though. we had a turkey my son got from his work. we also had dried hubbard squash, dried indian corn and wild rice.  I had to be careful not to over eat even if I have been walking.

the only thing I wanted for Christmas was to find the glasses I lost. I thought they would have turned up by now. it aint that I am forgetful. I have a place for everything. not obsessive about it but I know where I put things. the glasses had polarizing lenses, were scratch resistant, had no line bifocals and were for those that were on computers a lot. santa didn’t help me find them. and he wonders why I don’t believe in him.

the boys called us on facetime from the southwest. they are visiting their family for the holidays. they will be back this weekend. we will watch them for a week and a half because they have no school.

i have been working on my music. I uninstalled the old iTunes. the format was messed up. catergories were out of place and my songs weren’t in alphabetical order. I installed a new itunes. now everything works better. I had to edit most entries, put them into categories etc. now I have to get my cds and re-download the songs I lost. I gotta have my music.

i am going to funerals of two first cousins. during those times I always think of my own mortality. I have had a life. I don’t miss the things I don’t have or didnt do. its pointless to have regrets. I cant undo the things that weren’t right. i dont know if there are many things left that I have to do. I will continue to live the way that I have learned. I aint perfect but I am content. I am grateful I lived this long.

warm winter day

it is officially winter now according to the calendar. today it will 60 degrees. that is warm enough to go walk on the road. I don’t mind the tread mill but I prefer to be outside if I can. I will take advantage of any reasonable day to walk outside.

we took the boys to see some christmas lights last night. we went to shawnee lake. it costs us a ten dollar donation for a 5 minute drive thru. it was worth it though. the boys liked it. it cost us two bucks more for the glasses they wanted. they were something like 3D glasses. i tried them on and it would have made an old hippie say ‘far out’. the boys liked wearing the glasses.

we went to the potwin neighborhood after leaving lake shawnee. we drove thru it at not cost. there were many other cars passing thru, it was the same way at lake Shawnee. the boys wore their glasses while going thru potwin. they liked seeing the lights.

we got something to eat and headed home. i wanted to  watch the K.C Chiefs football game. we got home in time to watch most of the game. the chiefs won.

on the way down i stopped at the buffalo pen to take a picture of them in the sunset. it still aint the shot i want. i will continue until i get the picture i want. we also got a picture of some deer by the roadside. i noticed a deer that looked  like it was limping. i slowed down to a stop. the deer didnt spook. mary took a picture out of the window. we seen there were two others in the camera flash.

i never was one for wearing any kind of jewelry. that includes watches and rings. i am  wearing my fitbit every day now. i use it to monitor my steps. the goal is 10 thousand steps a day. that is roughly 5 miles. i have only reached that goal 3 times. thats okay i am working at it.

i wore my fit bit to drum doings yesterday. it counted dancing as steps also.  i danced for bout two hours. i  made my 10 thousand steps. i am keeping track of my water intake with the fitbit also. i am drinking more  water. I count the two kinds of indian tea I drink.

i am trying to get healthier. my lab tests showed my numbers are still a bit high. i am working on that. if my numbers dont go down it aint gonna be cuz i aint trying. i am logging my miles and watching what i eat. and staying away from  pop. whenever Indians get together they always have food. much of it is sweets. I gotta steer clear of the sweets.

will see what this week brings.

went to another game


I logged some miles yesterday. the  boys got out of school early for winter break. we drove to Lawrence to pick them up at noon. on the way home, they wanted to play at mcdonalds. we stopped there to eat even though I don’t eat at fast food places that often. they played while I had a fish sandwich.

we had to convince them to it was time to leave. we headed home. they noticed presents under the tree as soon as we walked in. they kept at us until we agreed to let them open the presents.

we try to teach them not to expect presents just because of the one day. we provide for them year round. I don’t want them to feel entitled to presents. we to try to make them work for things we give them. i admit i spoil my grandkids. we couldn’t do that for our kids. everything we made went to staying alive.

we got a short rest from the two hour drive. we left for Horton.  we went there for a high school girls basketball game. a grand daughter plays there and was a queen candidate. we sat with our son and our other grand daughters. the grand kids like to play together. it was an indian section where we sat.

horton lost the game but maryanna was crowned queen. that was good. glad we got to see that. mary took some pictures.

after the crowning we headed out. home was not quite an hours drive. we had to stop at wal marks for some milk. the boys like cereal for breakfast sometimes. they will be here a few days. I didn’t want to get home late.

before i left I seen a coupla older guys. I told them I was heading to edgetown. they laughed. it has been gone for many years. I used to party there back in my high school days. I  was a minor but got served anyway. my brothers and I spent many a week end there. we hung out with older guys instead of ones our age.

today i get to watch KU mens basketball. it is on a channel I get. I will throw another log on the fire and kick back to watch the game. I have to do my chores before then. the chickens and my dog have to be fed and watered. I have to bring in the eggs. I am glad I am still getting eggs in the winter.

my daughter is home for a board meeting. the family might get together for supper. we make the time for family. it was suggested to meet for Chinese food. it was a spur of the moment decision.

today is the winter solstice. don’t know what the hell that means. but I acknowledge it. I guess it will be winter now.

snow slowly melting

I took this picture on the way home when it was snowing. kinda liked how the fence posts looked.

i am waiting for the rest of the snow to melt. i need to throw more wood into the basement. i will do that chore monday when it  is around 59 degrees. I have enough wood to last a week or so. I will clean the stove pipes too.

it was time to order more roasted coffee beans.  I do that four times a year at per cap time. I have a cup of fresh ground Colombian Supremo coffee every morning. that is my favorite coffee.

this rez njun never heard of that coffee. I first tasted it back in my relocation days. I was given a one way bus ticket to Oakland, California. I lived there a few weeks. then I went across the bay to San Francisco. once this country Indian seen all that craziness I moved over there.

i used to go back across the bay to hang out in Berkely. or we called it beserkly. there was a coffee shop I would stop at. they served Colombian Supremo for 45 cents with two free refills. I would sit there and watch the people go by. i was too broke to do anything else. I developed a taste for that fine coffee.

they say never talk about politics or religion. cant help it when we are bombarded with politics every day. i have been watching the impeachment stuff on tv. well some of it. I got tired of hearing the politicians who back trump no matter what. it seems the president and his cronies can do anything and not be held accountable.

I worked with prisoners who were convicted on a lot less evidence that what trump has against him. i think he is guilty of working with Russia, only helping the rich, separating thousands of kids from their parents at the border, turning over our national park lands to oil companies, promoting racism, sexually assaulting women,  etc. etc. it is sad he can only be charged with two of the things he does.

i dont hate the man as his supporters say, i just think he is corrupt. i am not against republicans either. i think them and the democrats are both the problem. they created the bureaucracy.  trump didnt created the system he is corrupting. he was already ripping off his charities, cheating students of his failed university, tanking his bankrupt casino, filing for bankruptcy to avoid paying bills, etc. he just took advantage of the system that was in place.

no matter what he did he will be acquitted by his republican party. they ride his coat tails. they have already said no evidence will be reviewed, no witnesses called etc. their minds are already made up. trump has told over 15 thousand lies and they still believe in him. that illustrates how the system isn’t for the American people. the ones that benefit the most are the rich and powerful. politicians (and i mean both parties) are just puppets of the rich. they are owned by them.

the American people should see how the rich and powerful can manipulate the system. many are too content in their own lives. they don’t care to vote against crooked politicians. or think it is pointless to vote. no matter who gets in, the spoils system will benefit them.

that reminds me of how things are in indian country sometimes.  occasionally we get someone who uses the system for their own benefit. they have supporters who back them all the way too. they stay in power until people finally wake up to what they do. trump isn’t something new. nor will he be the last trump we have. Indians have had their own trumps. our money draws out the wrong people sometimes.

there is an old saying ‘the only reason I hang around is because I want to see what happens next’. that’s what I think. I will see what happens. I wont be surprised by anything. that’s too bad. I believe that good should prevail. it doesnt always work that way. we teach our kids n grand kids to do the right thing no matter how others are. that’s the way it should be. wish our country was like that.


dealing with snow and bureaucracy

I had my quarterly lab and med check today. my blood sugar dropped a point from last time. it is still slightly high so I was prescribed another pill to take to help lower it. I hate taking pills but I sure wouldn’t want to have to shoot insulin.

my blood pressure was good. must be from that walking I have been doing. at least i got some good news.

i believe that sovereignty is just another word for bureaucracy. I seen that in action. last Friday I seen it advertised the tribe would pay for medicare part D. that is the first time I seen that advertised. if you don’t work for the tribe you dont know about things until it is too late.

i called about getting part D. I was told to go to another person to see about part B. that person wasn’t in, so I had to wait until yesterday, the following Monday from when I called. yesterday offices were closed because of snow.  today I was told I make to much money to get the state to pay for my part B. wtf. I make too much money. hardly. but that’s what the rules say.

i went back to the person about part D. I was told it is too late to sign up for part D. the deadline was last Thursday. I said I didn’t know about it until the next day. I was told that’s the rules. I asked why wasn’t I told that last week. I thought since the tribe is paying I could sign up. sovereignty means not so fast chief. we got rules. now I have to wait until next October 15 to sign up. viva la sovereignty.

i dont know why it wasn’t advertised with enough time to do something about it. thats the way it is when you are not in the system. then you get someone that says it past due. uh huh. our money only helps  some of our people some of the time. no matter I lived here when we had no electricity, running water and we had dirt roads. I grew up in poverty. tell me no, so what.  doing with out is nothing new to me.

i lived here when there was no money for IHS. my mother was put on train to Oklahoma to have me because there was no money here for child delivery. I rode home on a train soon after I was born because I couldn’t take up needed room.

our tribe makes millions and millions of dollars. and this broke injun makes too much money to get help.   and too late to have the tribe help pay for part D. yep. merry Christmas.

xmas lites n snow


last night miamikwe and kinikwe came over to visit misho and nokomes. we wanted to go over to peoples park to see the Christmas lights. the girls were game to go. we got into the car and headed over to the park.

it was a bit cold but there were people who were dedicated enough to be out there. we parked and got out. the tribal police gave the girls some candy canes. we also got some hot chocolate from the boys and girls club.

we walked around and took a few pictures. my flash didn’t work on my cell phone. and it just started working on my Nikon when we were heading out. kinikwe said i’m cold. so we left. we had a good visit with people we knew.

we got home and I said we shoulda checked out the clusters Christmas lights. mary said lets go. the girls were game again. we jumped in and went. there weren’t many houses in the clusters that had Christmas lights. don’t know whats wrong with them Indians. I know its not traditional but then neither is rap music,  cell phones or new SUVs. its just a product of the times we live in.

I am kinda bah humbug but I do put up a tree. mainly for the kids.  and the hippie in me likes to see the lights. that’s why I dont take it down right after Christmas. I turn on the lights as soon as I get up.

it is snowing today. I had to feed the chickens in their house. the yard is covered in snow. got one egg so far but it is early.  we don’t get the snow fall that our northern neighbors get. they would laugh at the little snow we get.

looks like I will have to do my walking on the treadmill this week. that’s okay. at least i was outside as long  as I could be. this past week I logged 8 miles. the week before I walked 10 miles. trick is to make the time. I do this for me.

mary and I needed to fill our gas tanks. they were about empty. heard moisture accumulates in the tank on cold days if not full. don’t know bout that but why take a chance. she followed me over to nation station, where everybody knows your name.

I stopped by the buffalo field on the way home. I wanted a good picture of the buffalo in the snow. good thing I charged the batteries of my Nikon. the buffalo were off in a distance. I needed a zoom. my Nikon has one but not my cell phone. I used the Nikon and got this shot.

I am watching Kansas City Chiefs on tv. my sons and daughter are at the game with a bunch of friends. 10 of them all together. a nice get together. no matter how cold it is. it is colder today than when mary and I went and it is snowing today. my kids will still enjoy the experience.

happy per cap

happy per cap to me. well I aint running to town to spend it. mine is going toward paying on the new to me rav4. I don’t mind. at least I have a car that will get me to anywhere in the country when I feel the urge for some road time. I never know when that urge to travel will hit.

got things to do today. mary has a stand at the senior site. I thought about going to buy breakfast. then I realized I have fresh eggs that taste the best. no need to buy from some one else when I have them. so I cooked myself breakfast.

long ago I complained about the eggs my mother made. she told me to cook them myself then. that’s how I learn to cook for myself. been doing it for years, there are times when I have to.  I have been around raising chickens a long time also. I do it because I prefer to eat fresh eggs that I raise myself.

I just got back from donating my red blood cells. that took about an hours time. I was on my phone reading the news while on that table.  I am used to doing it. I know there is always some one that needs the blood cells. I am O positive, that means anyone can use my red cells.

it is almost winter but mary and I still walk  on the paved road. I have also walked on the tread mill.  I am determined that my numbers at my next lab test will be lower. I had to work at it these past 3 months. I know now that I was slacking the last quarterly lab test. I assumed that I was okay because I usually am. cant assume that, I gotta keep working. no time out from diabetes.

i have to make time to walk sometime today. i gotta log my two miles. i have six already. last weeks 10 miles has me striving to get more. i know that i can do better than walking every other day. I don’t want to act like an old guy.

I had to fix myself lunch too. i had some left over mish mot. don’t take a chef to heat it up.  i made it the other day. i cut the tripe into big pieces. i like to chew them. others chop them into small pieces. now and then I need to have a taste of mish mot.

I wont be able to watch KU men’s basket ball tomorrow. it is on a channel I refuse to pay for. I have been a loyal fan for nearly 50 years. I don’t have to prove that to anyone. “only $5 a month” aint the point.

gotta check out marys stand. she sold a few of my ribbon shirts I out grew. cant get my pow wow gut into them.

staying warm

we took this picture of the grand kids awhile back. they had on their Christmas sweaters. they got them from their aunt for a picture.

I walked on the tread mill yesterday. it was a bit cold to be outside. next two days will be in the 50s. I will hit the road then. my fitbit lets me know every night that I did’nt meet my 10,000 steps a day goal.  it also nags me to walk every hour. I wonder if its from the rez.  well I did make my goal once. only had my fitbit less than a week.

this Friday I am signed up to give my red blood cells.  I have been doing this for the past 6 or 7 years. the blood drive is at the clinic umm i mean health center. once I get to doing something it becomes a habit. then I do it out of habit.

i have been making a gallon of indian tea lately. I drink it up and make another. I am counting it as my water intake. them old Indians always said it was an all around tonic. I will run out by spring. I will have to go out and pick sacks full so I can drink it year around. I am drinking  plenty of water too. again I don’t meet the 64 ounces a day goal. don’t matter I am drinking more water.

they having a craft and bake sale at the senior site this Friday. I will go check it out after I give my red blood cells. one of my old friends is selling pies. I have bought a few from her. I will also look for fresh baked bread. it is always good. i will pass on the cakes and cookies. Mary is undecided if she will have a stand.

the casino gift shop is also having sales. it is held every per cap. I see if they got any new Pendleton cups to add to my collection. I didn’t plan on having a set of them. I got a few as giveaways. they added up, so I started to buy them myself. tho they are called Pendleton, they are made in Thailand.

i ordered some christmas presents the boys wanted off amazon. I don’t like shopping. I asked them what they wanted in case santa asked me. they went along with it, knowing its misho n gramma that get the presents. not santa.

yesterday I made some mish mot. most know it as menudo. I had some beef tripe (cow stomach) in the freezer when we de-iced it. I fixed it yesterday. I have two bowls of it last night. I will reheat some of it this weekend. some say it is better a few days later.

the critter that killed my hens hasn’t come back yet. I assume it is dead. once a critter starts killing chickens, they don’t stop until we get it. I am glad it hasn’t come back. I gotta have fresh eggs. thats why I raise chickens. I don’t raise them for critters to eat.

i will split some more wood today. I make sure it is easy to get the fire going. dont have to mess with splitting it for kindling. we can keep it going that way. I have more outside that needs to be tossed into the basement. I will do that on a nice day.