you can be whatever you wanna be

this is a picture of me at one of the panoramas at the salina zoo.

once i was talking to a brother in leavenworth. i made a remark about what some one had told me. my bro said ‘i have found that in here you can be anything you wanna be’. he meant the guy was making up his own history. i told him it was like that out here too.

i see that too often. people create their own history.  it sounds so real you can almost believe it. its like that with some ‘super’ indians. they want you to believe they are so down with the cause or are so tradish and they been that way all their lives. reality is some just discovered they were indian. to make up for lost time they over play the role.

being indian aint a contest. being competitive shouldnt even enter into it. we are all the same. no one is ‘more’ or ‘less’ indian than the rest. dont know why some gotta ‘out indian’ everyone else. indians got more important things to worry about.

i have been missing correspondence. someone was trying to get ahold of me. they sent me emails that i didnt respond to. i get so much spam that i dont go thru it every day looking for the one letter i need to see. today for instance i deleted over 1200 spam. thats 62 pages of it. its like that often.  i wont sort thru that much spam each week. i dont know what to do about that.

i missed a deal on a roach because of all that spam. i didnt see a guy ordered one. he paid for it and didnt get it. within a few days the guy file a dispute against me with paypal. i found out when paypal told me i could state my case. i told them i wasnt aware of any deals and they never told me i had money in my account. they froze the money. paypal found me guilty even after i told them my side. they refunded the guy.

i would have sent the roach if i knew about it. or returned the money. i tried to delete my paypal account but they wouldnt let me. they have a strike against me but they wont let me go. i wont use paypal again if that is how they gonna be. i quit offering roaches on this site as a result. i will only deal with people that are standing in front of me now.

i am not a rip off. i dont cheat anyone. i have been ripped off so many times in the over 40 years i have made roaches. i wouldnt do that to any one. i couldnt count the times that some one beat me on a roach. i could almost hear the violin music when i heard the sad stories. that made me quit making roaches a few times. but i love my art and wont let anyone drive me away from it. i do this for me. its satisfies my creative side.

got chores to do.